Today, more than ever, I wanted to write about how I sleep.
Quite a bit.
And not even about the process of falling asleep or sleeping itself. Just in general. Mood.
As I wrote in my article “What is War”, I have been sleeping in the corridor on a mattress for almost 260 days. I am comfortable and I have never felt discomfort at this location.
Almost every time I fall asleep, a siren, an air alarm, sounds outside.
If it is not there, then I check the phone one more time to see if it is there now. Because the absence of a bombing threat is like a holiday and is perceived with suspicion and caution.
Monsters in muscovites really like to have nightmares with rockets late at night and early in the morning.
My phone is always on airplane mode when I sleep. This time period is sacred to me. So the whole war in 2022 I spent more or less well at night, there were no problems with sleep and I physically did not hear the constant howling of the application notifying about the bombing.
The fact that I already rest in the most secure place in the apartment (not including the bathroom and toilet) is enough for me from a security point of view.
So if a missile hits a house, so let it be. I am mentally ready for it.
Every night I realize that the risk of not waking up the next morning is higher than before a full-scale war. And this “I won’t wake up” doesn’t yell, it just exists, because I know and understand that otherwise I won’t succeed now. I just don’t want it any other way.
Every morning is a holiday. More than a year ago.
Every day is an opportunity to do better and more than yesterday.
Therefore, I constantly try to improve my processes, from the smallest household to more global ones.
Every evening is a pleasure that the day went well, thanks to the heroes standing to death.
I think about these people every day, I see their exploits, suffering, joy, life in social networks, I communicate with comrades who returned from the front, with those who did not return…
This morning is special because I just wrote about it.
It became part of the universe through letters, words, images on the monitor, through zeros and ones.
The morning that survived.
So I have one more day for…
