russia Has NO Chance of Victory

I decided to publish in my blog the text I wrote specifically for the svidok.org website. I wrote a small review about it the other day. Posts on it are not public, so I want to make my text available to everyone. This is why I write about it [war and Ukraine] so much on the website, so that people can read, know, feel Ukrainians, their thoughts, experiences, see firsthand their real life without embellishments.

No chance

Today, November 15, 2022, russia launched the largest missile strike during the entire time of the full-scale invasion of Ukraine. My city was left either without attention, or its anti-aircraft defense worked perfectly.

I have known about this site [svidok.org – 3B] for a few days now and today my desire to write something and leave a review has become too great to delay.

I still don’t know what exactly I will write about, I will just share my thoughts and try to put emotions into words.

And words, unfortunately, are not enough.

Anger and disgust for everything russian reaches such proportions that there is no point in talking about them.

But the year 2022 started completely differently for me.

I have a confession to make. And people who read this will be witnesses.

I have been a pro-russian citizen of Ukraine for most of my life.

I cannot call myself a Ukrainian during this period, because everything from language to work was pro-russian and in one way or another had nothing to do with this country.

To be more specific, my moderate position was distinguished by the complete lack of condemnation of the russian federation actions since 2014.

I certainly did not like the fact that someone is taking land from the countries where I live, occupying, killing fellow citizens. But globally, for these 8 years, the military conflict has become more of a background for me than something bright and necessary for a reaction. I just went about my life, continuing to gather around me the same moderate people, most of whom were “out of politics”.

As for every Ukrainian, everything changed on February 24, 2022.

Everyone’s world in our country has been invaded, both physically and psychologically. It could not pass without consequences. Such events make us remember, think, talk, cry and maybe laugh about for many years, decades, generations to come.

My transformation from a pro-russian resident of the Dnipropetrovsk region to a fierce nationalist, Ukrainian – was gradual and somewhat unexpected for me.

Almost nothing happened for the first two months after the full-scale invasion. Like everyone, I monitored the news around the clock, stocked up on food and prepared for the occupation, because I don’t live that far from the front line. I lost all my income sources, because they were all related to russian clients. I survived on my savings, saved furiously and just waited to see how things would end.

Somewhere from the summer middle, my dissatisfaction began to grow. I began to speak Ukrainian with others more and more often, because the environment gradually began switching [communication language – 3B]. Since I know the Ukrainian language well, it was absolutely no problem for me.

It began to gradually dawn on me that this war was pushing against the wall with a rather simple question: “Who. Are. You. ?”

And this answer is not only mandatory, but also determines your entire life and future.

One fine day I frankly answered this question.

It wasn’t easy to be aware of myself as pro-russian shit, but I already have to live with this past.

I don’t remember exactly what day it was.

It was the birth of another sincere, true Ukrainian.

Little by little, I began to study Ukrainian history more deeply. I felt this spirit of enslavement and constant oppression, struggle for freedom and independence. Towards the end of the summer, I completely switched to Ukrainian and at the same time did about 20 different procedures (read my article about Evolution), which made it clear there would never be a return to muscovite life.

This transformation process felt new and very fresh for all my 38 years. Maybe one day I will want to find the right words describing this period, all these states. And here I want to direct my opinion in a slightly different direction.

I met autumn already as a true nationalist, who is ready to tear out alive the Adam’s apples of every russian piece of shit that set foot on our land to commit crimes, killing, occupying and destroying.

Little by little, I came to the point that my life, one way or another, cannot be filled with something that is not related to Ukraine. This is still a young statement and even to me it sounds immature and somewhat timid. But I must admit that the path I am taking will be about Ukraine, for Ukraine, for the sake of Ukraine.

About a year and a half ago, I decided that I would write, I would be a writer.

This statement flickered with light for a long time and only now it shines with new colors.

My road is more than understandable now. It is clear, hard and Ukrainian.

If before I wrote only in russian [as writer – 3B], now it is not even discussed.

I am starting to study my native language in more depth, read Ukrainian authors, and even just books in Ukrainian. Over time, my composition will improve and I will feel more confident as a writer in my native language.

I continue to kill the russian in me for now, to develop the Ukrainian space in all possible directions, but the other day I still decided to expand my sphere of influence and open a window to the English-speaking Internet. I created my own website, where I will share my thoughts, experiences, developing as a writer and talk about the path I will follow.The blog has an English version for now (this is how I additionally study a foreign language and talk about Ukraine abroad), but later a Ukrainian version will appear, where I will be able to fully show my skills in making letters into words. I invite everyone who is interested in literature, cinema, photography and just likes to read.

I do writing a lot about the war for today. And this is not surprising, because I cannot ignore this topic. It seeped everywhere, both in ordinary life, and in work, and in hobbies. Everything now smells of war… And I really want it to end as soon as possible.

Every day, I imagine several times that my actions, even each of them, bring the victory of Ukraine closer. It becomes a little easier and at the same time adds strength to move on.

This entry does not look like something monumental, written in a hurry, I just wanted to share with others my thoughts and the story of changes.

I know the russian monsters won’t read these lines [refers to the original text in Ukrainian – 3B], but I have to say it:

If even people like me, who were pro-russian in the past, have radically changed their attitude, radically changed their lives, renounced everything related to russia, look in your direction with disgust and are ready to fight to the death for their land – then you have no chance of winning.

You (russians) came to save people like me and fucked up, drowning now in your own shit and blood.

You (russians) invaded someone else’s house, killing the owners and are surprised that you are hated all over the world, and the Ukrainians wish death to every russian, to country and to the bald dwarf from the bunker on the parussia’s [here is a play on words that changes the country name (russia) to the colloquial word ‘toilet’ – 3B] under-president.

You (russians) have not yet understood, even to the fraction of a percent, the extent and strength of the Ukrainians hatred of you.

Your (russians) destiny is to kneel before us (Ukrainians) for decades, demanding forgiveness for millions of mutilated lives, for thousands killed, for hundreds raped.

Your (russians) hell has not yet been so obvious enough to understand that there is no turning back, each of you will suffer, begging for mercy.

You (russians) have done too much to forget, forgive, ignore.